🔗 Share this article

On occasion, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments often turn “detached from reality”, he admits. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are usually followed by a “crash”, during which he feels overwhelmed and self-conscious about his conduct, making him especially susceptible to disapproval from those around him. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits on the internet – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. However, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t already reached that realization personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – most notably if they experience beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he believes many people conceal it, due to so much stigma linked to the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through actions such as pursuing power,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Although three-quarters of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are men, studies points out this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” explains a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I either go into a defensive state or I completely shut down.” Despite having this behavior – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she notes she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples as a child. “I’ve been learning all this time what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my household were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions through national services (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: It was indicated it is likely to occur in a few months.”

John has only told a small circle about his condition, because “prejudice is common that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the development of online support communities point to {more narcissists|a growing number